The Practical Joke
by cheri1
Summary: Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose with Jack and Donna. A practical joke with two Doctors at two different times in their lives. FINISHED.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Oh come off it, Jack, do you know how angry he'll get?"

Jack had cornered Rose in the corridor near the kitchen and was detailing his idea for a great practical joke to play on the Doctor. He had only been traveling with the Ninth Doctor and Rose for two weeks but Rose could tell that sometimes Jack annoyed the Doctor severely with his shenanigans and flirting, which was why she was against antagonizing him further.

"Come on, Rosie, he'll love it," Jack said to her. "I've only been here a fortnight and already I can see that you and him are lovey dovey. Come on, play along."

"Alright but if he gets angry, I'm directing him straight to you," Rose said.

"Bring it on, I can handle Mister Grumpy any day," Jack said.

"Alright, give me the handcuffs then," Rose said, holding her hand out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Doctor was standing by the console, trying to decide what to do next when Rose suddenly rushed into the room.

"THERE YOU ARE!" she squealed which made the Doctor jump nearly to the ceiling.

The Doctor was about to reply when Rose zoomed up, threw herself at him and held on to him for dear life.

"DON'T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!" Rose said as she gripped the Doctor so tightly his ribs hurt.

"Rose, what the hell are you doing?" the Doctor said angrily as he tried to pry her arms away from his body.

"I'm lonely, I have abandoment issues," Rose said in a little kid voice as she held onto him tighter.

"Well, I can't breathe now so let go!" the Doctor said.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Rose let go but rather than back away, Rose stayed right at his side looking up at him with a little girl lost expression on her face.

"Hi," Rose said after the Doctor stared at her silently for thirty seconds.

"Are you feeling alright today?" the Doctor said to her.

"I am now that I'm with you," Rose said. "I hate being more than two feet away from you at any time. It makes me feel icky inside."

"Well, you can back up and give me room to breathe," the Doctor said, annoyed.

"But then the icky feelings return and I get sad," Rose said in a mournful voice.

"Are you on drugs?" the Doctor asked.

He frowned when Rose pointed to him as a reply.

"What does this mean?" he said, imitating her pointing.

"You're my drug, I'm addicted to you," Rose said. "And I don't want rehab!"

The Doctor frowned when she pranced around him singing, "They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no." before she stopped and sidestepped directly to his side.

"Ah," Rose said, putting her arm around him, "my security blanket."

"What?" the Doctor said.

"Don't ever leave me, Doctor, ever, ever, ever!"

"Are you mental?"

"If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right."

"Rose, go away…now!"

If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me," Rose crooned as she kept his arm around him. "Oo-woo-woo-no, baby please don't go!"

Rose glanced at him and noticed he was trying desperately not to smile. She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Can I just crawl up under your leather jacket and stay there hidden and safe like a kangaroo in its pouch?" she said as she stared at the rotor.

"Rose, you're barking mad," the Doctor said, trying not to sound bemused and failing miserably.

"Hey, I have an idea," Rose said, jerking her head around to his.

"You're going to go get some therapy and leave me alone?" the Doctor said.

"No, I wanna go somewhere," Rose said.

The Doctor eyed her suspiciously.

"What did you have in mind then?" he said.

"I wanna go find a hospital."

The Doctor raised his eyebrow.

"And why do you have need of a hospital?" he said.

"Surgery."

"What kind of surgery?"

"The kind that attaches me to you like a Siamese twin so we can be together always."

This time the Doctor couldn't help the grin that spread over his face.

"No thanks," he said airily.

"Oh come on now, surely they have such a place where they attach people for life," Rose said. "Wouldn't you like to be one with me?"

"No, because you'd drive me insane with your…insaneness."

"Okay, how about a temporary fix then?"

"Such as?"

Rose grinned, reached into her pocket and held up the handcuffs.

"We can be bonded this way. I'll just lock your wrist to mine and throw away the key. Sorted!"

"Rose, go lay down and have a long, long nap."

He broke away from her when Rose opened one of the manacles and tried to put it around his wrist.

"Rose, go away," the Doctor said, smiling as he went around the console.

Rose grinned and chased him around it, waggling the handcuffs at him as she chased him around and around.

"Rose, no! You're not gonna put handcuffs on me," the Doctor said, finally stopping and catching her wrists in his tight grip.

"But I have abandonment issues!" Rose said.

"Yeah and you'll have them even more when I drop you off at your mother's and leave you there!" the Doctor said good-naturedly. "What's gotten into you?"

"Well, Jack put me up to this."

"Oh!" the Doctor said throwing up his hands while Rose laughed. "Suddenly it all makes sense now!"

Rose put the handcuffs back in her pocket and hugged him gently.

"Thanks for being a good sport," she said to him.

"Thanks for not being mental," the Doctor said. "I was going to take you to a hospital but it was the kind that harbor loonies."

"Nah, I'm sane…ish," Rose said. "Well, carry on with what you were doing and I'll go do something else now. Ta-ta!"

The Doctor watched her run away towards the back door. He waited till she was gone before he chuckled to himself, his spirits lifted by Rose's silliness, and set the controls for a random location.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

(Several years later, after the fall of the Crucible…)

After towing the Earth back into place, everyone went to rest and recover from the day's events except for the Doctor. He stood by himself at the console, his hearts heavy as he thought over what he had to do with Rose and his clone. He hated to do it but he couldn't see any other option, his clone was too dangerous to be alone and he wasn't about to tolerate having him in the same universe. Besides, he saw a golden opportunity to give Rose a part of himself that she could truly love and who could love and grow old with her in return.

He finished inputting the coordinates for Ealing when Donna entered the room. The Doctor glanced at her and his hearts hurt anew, knowing that he also must make a huge sacrifice with her.

"Everyone's resting but I wanted to see if you were alright," Donna said, walking over to him.

"I'm alright," the Doctor said, trying to put on a cheerful demeanor.

Donna snorted.

"Don't give me that, you're far from alright," she said. "That whole sunny personality 24/7 might work with other people but you're not foolin' me."

"I'm just upset, alright?" the Doctor said, dropping the act.

"About what?" Donna said gently.

The Doctor glanced at the back door and making sure no one was there, he told Donna what his plans were for Rose and his clone.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" Donna asked him when he finished speaking.

"Yes. I have to do it. She deserves the best," the Doctor said.

"So do you."

The Doctor didn't reply to that and Donna sighed, knowing that once again her friend was sacrificing his own happiness for the greater good. With her Time Lord mind, she now understood his motives better but she still didn't agree that he needed to give up every shred of happiness to someone else.

The Doctor stood up to check on their progress at the console when suddenly Rose dashed into the room and zoomed towards him.

"THERE YOU ARE!" she squealed as she barreled into him. "DON'T EVER LEAVE ME!"

The Doctor gasped when she flung herself around him and held him tight. His hearts beat rapidly as he thought that perhaps Rose had been standing at the back door listening to everything they said and he was about to explain his reasons why she needed to go back to Pete's World when Rose chuckled and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"So…still up for going to that planet that does the Siamese twin surgeries?" she said to him.

Then it dawned on him what was going on and his heart ached as that long ago memory of the practical joke came into focus in his mind's eye. He realized with a sinking heart that Rose didn't know what his plans were after all. He suspected that Jack had cornered her again and asked her to play the joke on him again for old time's sake. Rose, meanwhile, was looking back at Donna.

"I wanna get surgically attached to him," she said. "I have abandonment issues and he's my security blanket."

"What?" Donna said while the Doctor couldn't help but grin at her confusion. "You wanna be attached to him?"

"Forever," Rose said with a shrug. "I'm sure there's a hospital somewhere that does Siamese twin surgeries but he won't say where."

"What?" Donna said, laughing, when the Doctor looked over his shoulder, spun his finger around his ear and pointed to Rose.

"Me and him, we're a team, you know," Rose said, pointing to him. "And I get all blue if I'm more than five feet away from him at any time."

"I thought it was two feet and you got icky," the Doctor said.

"Yes, that's right. Two feet and icky, that's me," Rose said.

The Doctor tried to be lighthearted and join in but the thought of Rose innocently playing this joke and saying all these things without knowing what was going to happen soon tore at his hearts and he turned his head away from her in guilt and shame. Rose turned to him, a big grin on her face but it dropped off his face when she noticed he seemed to be in distress.

"Doctor, I'm just having you on, like before," Rose said, putting her hand on his back. "I know you got a bit irritated the last time but Jack thought that since we were here that I should do this for old time's sake. I don't have the handcuffs though. Jack probably used them…on what, I dread to think."

The Doctor laughed a sad laugh at that but wouldn't meet Rose's eyes. His breath caught in his throat when Rose leaned her head against his back.

"I'm so glad I found you again," she murmured.

The Doctor swallowed hard.

"Me too," he said, amazed that he could keep his voice so steady.

He tried not to stiffen when Rose put her arms around him from behind.

"My security blanket," she murmured as she closed her eyes.

Donna sensed that the Doctor was about to lose it and she quickly stood up and walked over to Rose.

"Hey, wanna get a cuppa and have a little chat?" she said to Rose.

"Yeah, cuppa sounds good. But you stay here because I might need you again in five minutes," Rose said, playfully poking the Doctor's back.

The Doctor nodded, too choked up to do anything else. Donna quickly got Rose away from him and the Doctor glanced back over his shoulder and let out a shuddering sigh when they finally left the room. When he was alone, he let a tear fall from his eye and allowed himself a few moments of grief before he forced himself to pull himself together and go get Sarah Jane for the first stop home.

THE END.


End file.
